Dumbledore is a natural at flicking his hand, not because he's an extraordinary wizard; it's because he is gay

It was announced this week that Professor Dumbledore from the beloved Harry Potter series is a homosexual. This is great news -- For the gay community! For the rest of us, this is a tragic discovery.

Many people- straight and gay -are very upset about this news. I think its obvious why the straight community is mad. A role model, a child's icon is suddenly a drastically different person. The gay community (I'm speculating here) is upset because of the practically non-existent prescense this very relative (to them) piece of information is to the story.

J. K. Rowling escapes the critism and resentment of this colorful addition to her popular series by saying that Dumbledore's sexual preference had nothing to do with the context of the story. (I agree.) As much as we all want to know everything about the world of Harry Potter, there are things that aren't important. Knowing that Dumbledore was gay would only cause 14 year old boys to laugh and cause orthodox Christians to dislike the books even more than they already do. Everyone else would be completely indifferent. But mostly just because it wouldn't change the story. I think Rowling left it out because she didn't want people to read into anything involving Dumbledore's sexual orientation because it would detract from the story. And it would distracting because being gay is wrong and the controversies surrounding living an alternative lifestyle are rampant in our society. (The power that the gay community- one of the smallest minorities in our country- possess is scary.)

My real personal opinion is that this is something to drag out the Harry Potter craze for a little while longer. That's what she said. Or he said.

3rd Degree Disappointment

This is a more personal, stream-of-thought blog.

Last night around midnight, I found out that the girl I was crazy about was no longer moving to my city in January like she had planned. I had made plans revolving around her since meeting her in this summer. This news came with great shock and bitter disappointment. I had tried my best to not get my hopes up, because like in the past, I always get burned. I wouldn't classify this as "getting burned," but it feels very similar. I definitely had my hopes up.

The past two years have been great! I got off my LDS mission in December 0f 2005, and I immediately enrolled at the University of South Carolina as a biology major (I eventually switched to an English major). The two semesters at USC were not my favorite. I struggled socially and academically (I think they are connected - even though I would like to think they weren't). Over the summer, I moved to Cleveland, Ohio and worked for a dirty, unethical sales company called Firstline (who I hate now). I don't regret that summer, because I learned a lot of valuable things, but those experiences did cost me. Then after my second (socially miserable) semester as USC, I debated moving back to Utah to go to school. Everything about that option seemed good, so I did it. I left early from a family reunion in Myrtle Beach, SC on December 29 to drive through the wet, gradually decreasing temperatures of the South, the icy blizzards of the Midwest (I hate Kansas), and the towering, thin-aired terrain of the Rockies.

Driving through Soldier Summit at 95 mph, I realized this was the right decision; although, it could have been the adrenaline or the lack of oxygen at 6,000 feet above sea level. I spent the night that night with my friend Jacob because my housing complex wasn't allowing new tenants until the next day. Since being here, I've come to found out that I have the best friends in the world. Jessica, Devin, TK, Jacob, Dunn, Van, John, Kofoed, Leanna, Ben, Dan, Stuart, Joe, Nikki, Jessie, Cole, Edward, Kevin, Nathan, Paige, Jeremy, Sweet Pumpkin (April), Mary, and Haley. From the second I pulled into the Utah county, I have experienced nothing but fun, peace and happiness. There has not been a single disappointment for the past 11 months (since the cruise with naked Ashley- I'll tell that story another time). That's why this is so hard I think.

And now I face another decision in my life -- what the crap do I do now? I could easily roll over on this and decide this is my sign from God that we aren't meant to be. Or I could get depressed, and take out my frustration on her; or worse, on one of my other friends. I could never call her again and just get over it. I could feel taken advantage of (that's happened before) and retaliate against her. I could get over-anxious and try to change her mind by calling her too much and forcing a tighter bond to be made. But that would just make her like me less and probably make me repulsive and annoying.

All of those ideas are bad options. My real options are: 1) End things nonchalantly and still be "friends." But not good friends, because I'll start to like her again, of course. We still live in different cities, so we would only talk maybe once a month or something like that. 2) Continue to be good friends, like we are now, but without the guaranteed future. There would be a mutual understanding that there is a slim chance of a future together. But on my end, I would have to drop the emotional attachments or more accurate, the emotional hope. And lastly, 3) Endure. Realize that neither of us are even ready to get close to being serious with anyone. I can do my thing which is getting school done, saving money and keeping busy. She can do her thing which I don't think she even knows what "her thing" is. I think her best option now is to go on a mission. I didn't like this idea at first, but i think it's her best choice now. Let time go by and hopefully, that will give us both the answers we are looking for. Maybe she goes on a mission, I write her the whole time, and things get better than ever when she gets back. Maybe we go separate ways and both live happy lives despite veering off our projected life plan.

My real problem now is that I don't know how committed she ever was. I feel like that should have a major influence on this decision, but in reality, it doesn't. She wouldn't make this decision if she was as committed as I am (was). So I guess now I sit back, pray a bunch, and try to understand what I should do. And then do it.

CK: Sarcastic Enjoyment

I am halfway through my third Chuck Klosterman book. You might have never heard of Chuck; although, you have probably read something he wrote. He writes for everyone and I can almost guarantee you have stumbled upon some of his stuff. He writes (or has written for) ESPN, Esquire, GQ, Spin, The New York Times Magazine, The Washington Post, and many, many others. I have read most of his books: Fargo Rock City, Chuck Klosterman IV: A Decade of Curious People and Dangerous Ideas and I am devouring Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs. Next I will read his first book (I've kind of gone in a reversed chronological order) Killing Yourself To Live.

This man is a genius. He has this laid-back, sarcastic but lovable way of writing. He can be so prude and forthright, but still make you crack a smile. His description of things are so good and mostly biased. But he is openly biased and doesn't try to make an argument over his opinion. He likes to tell you how he sees it and how he thinks it should be, and then says, "Take it or leave it. I could be wrong; I'm probably right. Whatev." That mentality reminds me a lot of my friend Jacob. Maybe that's why he is gorging on IV after his CK discovery.

I'll be Frank (but I'm really Josh), CK likes some pretty dang horrible music. Glam rock? Really? But I have to respect his tenacity when it comes to his ear candy. He portrays KISS and Motley Crue and all those other ridiculously flagrant bands in a way that makes me not hate them. In fact, I have given some of them a chance and, I'll be honest, I still didn't really like them. But the point is, CK gave me a perspective I had never thought of before. He showed me a part of humanity and pop culture that I would never had experienced had I not been forced to read Fargo Rock City, then cautiously read IV and then hurriedly been read Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs.

CK is an interesting person; there's no denying that. And whether his ideas or theories are agreeable to you or not, you have to admit his perspective helps you understand whatever ya'll are talking about. Almost everything I've learned from CK, I have not regret learning.

Chuck Klosterman

I watched CSPAN...For like 12 minutes!

I really, really dislike television. I love some of the programs that air on television, but as far as the concept of television in our society goes, I do not like it. On average, I channel surf about once every couple weeks for no longer than 30 minutes. And it's not that I don't like commercials. And it's not that I think TV is hazardous in any way, and it's not that I think "there is nothing on." (there is always something on -- Starship Toopers is literally always on) I just think it is squalid to have your life revolve around something aesthetically pleasing, but frankly, selfishly extra-curricular as a television show. (Now I am a hypocrite because I silence the house and stare at the television with anticipation and utter glee at 8PM every Thursday for The Office -- "That's what she said") But in my defense, it is The Office. How can you not have a Jim and Pam relationship-leech addiction after watching some it?

Now I could go on for hours about TV and The Office (and Starship Troopers because its on all the time), but I want to say what happened yesterday while I was bored. I channel surfed. I have no idea what channels are what or what programs come on when; I just know the basics.

So I came across CSPAN. No one likes CSPAN. I can't think of more than 3 reasons why that station exists. Anyway, I flipped right past it, but the 7/13 of a second clip caught my eye (and my ear). I pushed the down button to go back to it and then I watched CSPAN. For like 12 minutes! It was actually entertaining. But it was not the normal CSPAN old-guy-talking-slow-at-a-podium-marathon. It was a British version.

At least for me, everything becomes more entertaining when a British accent is thrown into the mix. With CSPAN, I heard the politicians talk instead of experiencing the epitome of white noise. What was torture for me yesterday, became entertainment to me the next because of a slight alteration in the way the politicians were communicating. I guess little things do make big differences.

(And instead of clapping or giving a standing ovation after the speaker makes a point where others agree, like we do here in the US; the British politicians all, in disharmony, chant "Aye aye aye!" It is the funniest thing I have ever seen; except, for when Dwight runs into a telephone poll giving him a concussion, and causing him to act weirder than he usually acts. The Office @ 8PM on Thursday nights)

Guru's: Method of Resolution

I was at a nice, little sandwich wrap place eating what looked like a jungle wrapped up in a orange tortilla. I still can't figure out why the wrap was orange, or why my jungle wrap sort of tasted like a panther. I don't know if I'll go back to this (Guru's). It looked like a really happy, industrial version of Dr. Seuss. I'll probably try it again just because of they way it looked. Anyway, my friends and I were talking about stocks, globalization and a possible exit strategies with the war in Iraq (we were really talking about sports, The Office and quoting lines from Anchorman), when my friend Stuart brought up a good point. He said something along the lines of, "Girls are irrational. When a problem comes up, instead of thinking of a good possible resolution, they work up in their minds the most irational responses. And then stand by it regardless of how crazy it may be."

For example, Stuart meets a girl. Stuart likes this girl, and to his surprise, this girl likes him back. But there's a problem: This girl has a boyfriend. Stuart makes a bet with friends involving the girl. Girl texts him, "I know I have a boyfriend, but I'd really like to get to know you better." (Score!) Stuart shows his friends the text after making the bet. Friends lose hope in winning the bet. Stuart then hangs out with girl a lot (every day for a week). Then girl shows signs of creepy-ness and insanity. Girl tells Stuart she loves him and blah blah blah. Time goes by; Stuart has his mom drive him 3 hours to go to a frat party with girl (that part makes me laugh everytime I think about it). Stuart has no desire to go to the frat party, but goes anyway because she wants to go. He sits alone at a frat party where he doesn't know anyone for some time. Girl is off mingling with friends (and flirting with other guys like it's her job) as Stuart sits in a corner of a foreign frat house in college town where he only knows one person: the girl that is mingling with friends (and flirting like she's a fly that only has 24 hours to mate and reproduce before she dies). Stuart gets fed up (as he should) and decides to go back to the dorms. Not long after getting comfortable and watching some TV, the girl calls him mad and yelling. (Maybe he should have told her he was leaving? Yes, but maybe she should have involved him so he didn't want to leave in the first place) A fight ensues as soon as girl gets back to dorm. Girl now hates Stuart because...(think about the severity of his sin)...he left a frat party he didn't want to be at because the only person he knew (she "loved" him, remember?) ignored him as he sat alone in a weird house with Greek letters on it.

The problem was bad communication. Obviously, Stuart and the girl had different ideas of how this frat party was going to play out. But when that realization hit them both, they reacted differently. Very differently. (Maybe this next part is biased because I'm a guy, but hopefully its not. Hopefully, its how everyone should act.) Stuart was confused and slightly hurt by the frat party experience. The girl was enraged and bitter about the frat party experience. Stuart's reaction or method of resolution: Talk about it. Work things out. Girl's method of resolution: Hate Stuart. Close up and show no emotion or inkling of a desire to resolve things.

Maybe it's just me, but I think Stuart's method was more rational. (And if nothing else, more civil and respectful.) Stuart found out the hard way this girl was less than sane. Maybe next I'll try and figure out "why" girls tend to be irrational (not all the time, but a lot). Wait, wait....no I'm not going to try and figure that out. That doesn't sound fun at all! I'm just going to stop digging the grave, even if it is a little shallow. I'd rather deal with the little problems, then dig any deeper.